Individuation

I am hungry for knowledge and at times want to stop reading, writing or following any process that generates knowledge. Fear grips my mind with such thoughts. I want to be zapped into oblivion where there is nothing but a sense of existence. A feeling of nirvana as if I am drowning in the ocean comfortably and cannot feel anything but myself. No sensory organs are assisting me at that moment.‘I’ am rid of all emotions and feelings, after all emotions are complex psychophysiological experiences.

Is it possible for me to live with matter and not be affected by the biochemical changes taking place in it? The answer will certainly be ‘no’, the body has to age and wear out. If there is genesis, there will certainly be nemesis. My soul wants to be free from the causality of matter. ‘Cogito ergo sum’ doesn’t satisfy my idea of individuation beyond the causality of matter. I will not support Cartesian dualism. It means we are all ‘A ghost in the machine’. Thanks Gilbert Ryle! I am developing my own ‘implication threads.’

Philosophy had to go beyond the ‘philosophy of mind,’ knowledge beyond the conventions of sensory organs. Knowledge free from causality would be the purest form of knowledge. It will tell us about the genesis of causality and knowledge, a knowledge that doesn’t serve teleology. We can blame the intelligent design for restricting our knowledge, but that’s typical human nature. To expect knowledge on phenomenon beyond the grasp of human mind from the unknown is degrading. We are responsible for the creation of a totally different intelligent design. Creationism and traducianism is blasphemy for me.

Why is intelligence and knowledge created by human being called ‘artificial?’ It’s the purest form of creation man has every achieved till date, birth should also be labeled artificial. The difference is of flesh and blood ‘only.’ The basis for both the creation is material. There is no need for natural biology to conflict with human technology. People who encourage such conflicts are afraid that men will become Gods.

As time passes, the conflict is getting worse. I get up and start walking around the forest. I am wandering in the Himalayas. A place where generations have come looking for enlightenment. Liberation from the material self is their sole objective, unfortunately, my intent is different. I am here to seek and not to be lost. The sole purpose is to push the limits of knowledge beyond the known frontier….

Duality

I am looking at dawn break puzzled by almost everything around me. My concern with gravity and the way it manages to keep us on ground has kept me awake through early hours of the morning. I wanted to see gravity like we see a flower. I am sure our mind plays tricks on us. It only shows us things that adhere to causality, but gravity too adhered to causality. Parmenides perceived every change as illusionary. Everything that we see changing on a daily basis was actually not true for him. I am also assuming ‘what we see’ as falsifiable. In the end, my purpose is to see the force that keeps everything on ground. I consider it as a phenomenon that we all need to observe. It’s as important for me as sunrise over the mountains.

I am thinking that my eyes are narrowband electromagnetic wave detectors. Scientifically, we see everything because of our brains. Eyes are only a medium of delivery. But the human brain itself is situated in the dark. I am slowly beginning to believe that my God is certainly a ‘Dark Lord.’ Light is only a medium of expression of the dark lord. Light never gives birth to darkness but only kills it.

As the sun rose over the mountains pushing darkness back, my idea was getting more lucid. First, there has to be darkness and then light follows. The larger universe is replicated in our own bodies. Therefore, we see only when light reaches the dark hemisphere of our brains as electromagnetic impulses.

Gravity can be ascribed to spacetime curvature rather than force. Space a three dimensional entity and time playing the role of the fourth dimension.  Gravity is also interacting with dark matter and therefore acquiring nature of the dark matter itself. Our eyes will never see things in the dark, it can only see light, the illusion that we are all aware of. I am sure that my brains are not inferior to any other intelligent being.

Energy itself is a dark substance, the energy we humans are used to seeing like tube light and daylight, is a medium of expression of the energy which is much darker in nature. There is the eternal conflict between light and dark as we all knew as children. No one ever told us, darkness is the mother of all lights. Gravity will never be seen like sunlight.  My mind did not believe what I had just thought about. It needs another round of questioning. Therefore, I close my eyes....

Melancholia

 

I am fascinated with the concept of death, war and conquest. I believe death and war bring permanent changes in this world. Conquest follows a slightly different logic but gives the same result in the end- ‘the change’. Death is the termination of the biological functions of a living being, war a phenomenon of organized violent conflict and conquest a linear scaling concept. All the phenomenon mentioned above have a physical reality. I doubt whether their physical attributes would affect me now.

My war has no physical attributes and there are no battlefields. I am the conqueror with nothing left to conquer. All that left is not worth changing. War will never reach me in this hostile terrain. I am already the conqueror of everything that I see. Without any humans all theories will die their own death. I am living to see them all die slowly.

Dreams of apocalypse, death and rebirth keep occurring in my day to day life. I have never questioned such phenomenon, but I need to now. The war has begun and death follows each discovery. I am convinced about conquering death and becoming a conqueror. The war within has already made me victorious. As a child, I was taught to be a winner. I still think, ‘what have I won?’ I am simply existing and making life interesting for myself. There was no ‘real change’ and never will be.  The idea terrifies me to the core.


It’s not the Oracle, Morpheus or Plato’s ‘Allegory of the Cave’ that have influenced my thoughts. My life will have no meaning without these questions being raised and I am doing everything in my capacity to find answers. Metamorphosis is the word that links death, war and conquest. The idea of transformation through permanent changes only is not true in my dictionary.  

                   

I am aiming for a transformation that involves no change at all. A transformation that looks beyond the stereotypical notions of change and metamorphosis is just and true. I am willing to go any extent to prove my point but there is no one left to judge in this wilderness. Its midnight and howling winds sweep across the inner valley of the Himalayas.

Learning

The learning process on earth involves making use of all our sensory organs. A common part of the learning process is one’s personal repetition of an observed behavior. The learning process works differently for the people who are blind and deaf. I am thinking of a totally different learning process starting with absolutely nothing; a learning process that will make me forget my flesh and blood. Processes that will take me a fraction of second before anything actually evolved and tell me something beyond the theories of dark and void .

The dark matter that fills most of our universe is serving a purpose beyond our imagination. Stephen Hawking has spent his life working on black holes and the matter involved with dark matter.  No one has really been able to grasp the nothingness that is all pervasive in our universe ever, though, one can experience dark matter within. I want to learn about the process that will take me beyond a simple experience of dark matter within.

It has nothing to do with life after death but rather death within death, an experience that goes beyond in this world and the next. Suddenly a cacophony has gripped my mind, visions of goddess Kali flash before my eyes and terrifies my senses. I have stopped thinking about the learning processes suddenly and realized it is getting dark outside. Food to eat and a pen and paper to write about the mesmerizing thought process gripping my mind are the only things I can think of at this moment. I am happy with the fact that the thought process using sensory organs are very vivid and moving from within.

I only wonder on the possibilities of thought process without the material self. I know a Tibetan Buddhist monk or a Hindu tantric can live in fourth dimension, but I am talking about existence in a dimension less environment with no pressure, temperature or any calculable entity. People who are declared medically dead have come back to life talking about their experience after death. They have talked about white light, heaven, hell and other exhilarating incidents. I simply want to ask them about the moment when they ceased to exist. 

People have given up their life voluntarily or achieved nirvana. They have had the opportunity to see the other side, if there is any. Will I ever know what is behind everything? Am I trapped in my own equation that fits with the larger algorithms of the universe? Questions of such gigantic proportions are certainly not solved overnight. I have to think and focus deep within for nothing lies outside but a three dimensional reality/dream….

Anticipating

We all perceive 'God' as all knowing individual entity, that is looking after us and is present in everything at all points of time. Supreme Being, fundamentally in all religions is considered an abstract entity. In the field of scientific research the obsession is with concept of time and space and the biography of our universe. Most scientists today have figured out the genesis of our universe, leaving a few fractions of seconds before it actually was born. Ancient religions and their obsession with our cosmic cycle cannot be denied.

My mind keeps pondering whether the creation of this universe has collided with the age where quasi reproduction of artificial life forms happens every minute. Is the cosmic life cycle replicated in my life too? Will the world of future get more close to the origin of our universe? Will there be a ‘Great Contraction’ towards the end, just like it all started with a big bang?

These ideas keep pulsating in my head and my consciousness became aware of the hazy morning that breaks over the horizon. I am eluding the world for two years now, travelling in the wilderness of Himalayas. There are times when I get tempted to turn around and take the journey back home, toward the comforts of the material world. But an invisible force has always stopped me.

I am speaking to myself quiet often now and someone inside me always whispers, you can’t give yourself up, so easily! At times I feel like a Dostoevskian character that has come out of a Russian novel. In the end I have conviction in the path I am following. A journey that has no end in itself and there are no end results being looked for.

I have become a slave of my consciousness that haunts me in my day to day life. My thoughts are becoming vague and surreal like Dali’s paintings. These have multiple meanings and each interpreter can interpret them as they like. Am I talking science fiction like the great Asimov? Certainly not, I am stuck in time and can't move forward momentarily. 

I imagine myself on the verge of writing a new age book that will evolve beyond science fiction and common storytelling. The idea is a system that will overtake the most insipid and downtrodden human beings.